300

Rating:
Rated R for graphic battle sequences throughout,
some sexuality and nudity.

Who's in it:
Nobody. Honestly, no big names here. But, lets cover the main leads. Gerard Butler plays King Leonidas, the main male lead who kills everybody (The Phantom of the Opera, Timeline, Reign of Fire, Tomorrow Never Dies). Lena Headey plays his wife, Queen Gorgo (The Cave, The Jungle Book, The Remains of the Day). Dominic West plays a guy no woman should ever trust, Theron (Hannibal Rising, The Forgotten, Mona Lisa Smile, Chicago, A Midsummer Night's Dream, and, of course, Spice World) and David Wenham plays Dilios, the narrator of the film (Van Helsing, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, Dark City)

Plot:
It is the story of the Battle of Thermopylae retold by Frank Miller in the comic book "300." The plot of the movie, doesn't fallow the original Greek myth, but is more true to the comic book, and is good no-the-less. So, the entire Persian army led by Xerxes, the god-king himself, comes after the city of Sparta after conquering the rest of Greece. All Spartan boys, once they reach a certain age, must, under Spartan law, go off to a special school to teach them to be the best warriors the world has ever seen. This is partly why Sparta stands proudly against the Persians, and also why they rock their world when only 300 hundred of them stand betweenXerxes' army and Sparta. The reason why only 300 men fight is because of the corruption with the very men the Spartans trust to tell them what the gods want them to do. They let their greed get the better of them, and tell the Spartans not to raise arms and let the Persians take over. So, King Leonidas takes 300 men "out for a walk" in the direction of the only way to get to Sparta, a small valley where they let the Persians trickle through and take on wave after wave, killing tens of thousands.

Moral teaching:
To stand up to those who oppose you, especially if they endanger your freedom. Also, that those who are truly evil will get what's coming to them.

Content:
"some" sexuality and nudity is, to me, an understatement. For a rated R movie, I've seen worse (though I wish I haven't) but it was still pretty bad. Lets break it down. There is a love scene between the king and queen towards the beginning of the movie, a lustrous weird, writhing adolescent who is naked who is supposedly talking to the gods. Also, later on, again, very weird nakedness in Xerxes harem. Also, a ton of guy thigh, thongs, blood, gore, violence, death, dead body mutilation, uh... just lots of killing in general.

Rollerskates:
5 Rollerskates out of 5 for film quality. Almost the entire movie was filmed in three small sound stages in Montreal, Canada in front of a blue screen. But you can't freekin' tell, the visual effects were that good. Seriously, the quality of this film is unlike any other action film I've seen since The Matrix. And honestly, 300 took what Matrix did for action films, and perfected it, doing it ten times better. HOWEVER, I can not, in good conscience recommend this movie. I give it 4 out of 5 for offensive content. (Especially do not see this movie if you struggle with a sexual addiction).

Blades of Glory

Rating:
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, language, a comic violent image and some drug references.

Who's in it:
I just saw Blades of Glory and, honestly, not that impressed. It was funny don't get me wrong. It was good to see Jon Heder, (Napoleon Dynamite) Will Ferrell (duh) Will Arnet (Arrested Development, Let's go to Prison) and Amy Poehler (Saturday Night Live) and Jenna Fischer (The Office) in a movie together. All were good and funny. Also, Luke Wilson has a good cameo as a Christian sex addict counselor.


Plot:
But, seriously, it wasn't as good as I was hoping. The whole basis for the comedy in the movie was making the audience uncomfortable with the two leads (Header and Ferrell) being way too close to each other while skating. It makes "sense" in the movie because of the plot, which is both Header and Ferrell were banned from Olympic competition skating, but through a loop hole they both agree to skate together in a different division: pairs. The reason this wasn't such a good thing, in my opinion, was simply making fun of gays. Not them specifically, but in somewhat of a round about way.

Content:
Also, I was disappointed with the amount of sexual content. There was a scene in which Will Ferrell, who not only plays a professional skater, but also a sex addict, grabs Jenna Fischer's breasts for a prolonged period. The movie does make a point in addressing his struggle and at the end he realizes this fault, but I also think "they" (the writers and others who made the movie) make fun of addictions to sex a bit too much.

Moral teaching:
As far as any point or moral to this movie goes, I guess I would have to say that sometimes your biggest enemy can be your strongest friend if you get over your B.S. But, honestly, I think this movie was just a reason to see Jon Header and Will Ferrell in spandex with their faces close to each other's crotches.

Rollerskates:
I'll give Blades of Glory 3.5 Rolleskates out of 5 for movie quality, and 2 out of 5 for offensive content. I'd say this is a rental if you're a hard core Ferrell fan.